In the past week, I've been feeling a lot of conflict in my relationships with the people around me, feeling that I'm being challenged or that my friends are trying to push their ideas/views on me. It's now happened enough that I'm guessing it's not them, it's me. Somehow my perception of my interactions is highlighting the conflict within but incorrectly assigns the source. I've always been a competitive person, but it is strange how far this is going these days...
The other thing that's been on my mind a lot lately is how much noise I make, how much "space" I consume with my words. I'm realizing that I am ill-equipped to be an effective social worker, friend, wife even until I can learn to listen. To actually listen - not hear three words and jump into a story about myself that might be vaguely similar.
Along these lines, I've been thinking about what my Lenten practice should be. What I want to do is to take a vow of silence - to not talk for 40 days and nights. To have to listen. However, it's pretty hard to be an effective employee, friend, wife without talking. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to manage this, but I know I need to...
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