praying for guidance

since I was 19 I have felt a strong call to active ministry
to carry out my faith caring for the sick, the poor, the homeless, the outcast

since then I have struggled with finding the practical application of that call
becoming a missionary
becoming an ordained pastor
becoming a social worker

in the fall of 2007 I took a step, a real step on the path of my call
I started working towards my MSW
while I didn't always love my classes, I loved the theory & the mission & the practice
and when I started my first internship, I really loved it

but then
my body broke down
and I tried to be patient, accepting
I tried to find a new way down the path
but I wasn't strong enough, healthy enough to carry on

and now I feel like I can't do anything
I'm sitting on this path, straining to move forward
but unable to move (literally)

I believe that God will help me see what direction to go in next
in time

I believe that God will help me find the strength to love those in need
in time

but right now
in all honesty
I am IMPATIENT

I don't want to wait
I don't want to feel useless

so
for now
hello world - I LOVE YOU!
from a distance
from my couch

and one day I will find a way
with God
to hug the leper, feed the hungry, take in the homeless, forgive the prisoner, and above all
love the lost
in person